This is honestly a very selfish article that I’m writing, but I feel like this needs to be addressed regardless of if people know who I’m talking about.
Dan and Phil (Daniel Howell and Phil Lester) are two British YouTubers who have been active since 2009. Throughout these 16 years of being influencers on the internet, they have created a fandom of over three million people. Throughout their careers, the two have published multiple books, gone on multiple world-wide tours, and even served as BBC Radio hosts from 2012 until 2016.
No, these people aren’t considered “famous” by the larger population, but are one of the most influential duos in the LGBTQ+ population, especially for those who were in middle and high school in the early 2010s. One of the major reasons that Howell and Lester have been claimed by the LGBTQ+ population is because of the running rumors about the duo being in a romantic relationship ever since they started posting videos together in 2009.
Up until the summer of 2019, all claims that Howell and Lester being gay were hypotheses and rumors, many of which were supported by compilations of what some people in the fandom deemed “evidence” of them dating. When Howell came out as gay in June 2019, he stated that he felt a lot of discomfort towards those in the fandom that were overly nosey about his personal life. As he had a childhood full of homophobia, Howell explained that the investigations into his personal life were triggering and overly invasive (I wholeheartedly agree with this, NOBODY should ever be labeling someone even as a joke without the consent of the person). Later in the same month, Lester also posted a video coming out as gay. While his video was more lighthearted and positive, he also emphasized the importance of privacy.
On October 13, 2025, the two YouTubers posted on their shared channel “Dan and Phil” (formerly known as DanAndPhilGAMES) a near-40-minute video addressing the rumors about the two of them being in a romantic relationship. I’ll jump to the end first: yes, they confirmed that they have been in a romantic relationship for nearly 16 years.
Now, to address why they took so long to talk about it: the lack of boundaries created via the parasocial relationships within the fandom created an uncomfortable and unsafe space for them to be out as a couple. They did emphasize the fact that NOT ALL fans were participating in the aggressive shipping (when fans create the idea of two people or characters being in a relationship) of the two, but many did break boundaries to the point of stalking and sharing private videos that weren’t meant to be seen by the public.
To those who are reading this and are saying to themselves, “yeah, we already knew,” that’s really not the point of why this was such a big deal. Dan and Phil coming out as a couple is a big deal because they felt safe and confident enough to confirm it to the world. Yes, they were always suspected to be a couple, but, as mentioned previously, the lack of privacy given to the duo deterred them from wanting to confirm anything. Imagine you, a non-public figure, are going about your life and suddenly MILLIONS of people are posting about you and your “best friend” in a romantic way, both appropriately and inappropriately. What if these people started doxing your home address and took photos of you when you weren’t consenting to it? What if people threw together “evidence” that “confirmed” something that was private information to you, accurate or not? And, of course, what if they were posting “proof” about something that you as an individual were struggling to identify within yourself? Being a “public figure” does not mean that someone is consenting to zero privacy and having their lives investigated with magnifying glasses every time they do anything.
Within this confirmation video, the couple have set clear boundaries: writing fanfiction and drawing fanart is okay, stalking and sharing of private information is not. I genuinely commend them for setting boundaries, especially in a list format for those who may misunderstand or argue the meaning behind “suggestions”. I may not know what it’s like to be treated in this way, but I have definitely had my life scrutinized by the people around me before I was ready to confront my own identity. So, what does this mean for the Dan and Phil fandom? Honestly? It means everything. Especially as an LGBTQ+ person who has been watching since middle school and struggled with my own identity and mental health, this means everything. I can truly say that the day the video was posted, I sat alone in my apartment, a fully-grown adult who has come to terms with my personal identity, and let out the biggest sigh of relief. Two of my favorite people, who brought me comfort as I struggled through life, have finally chosen their happiness over the comfort of others. Based on the comments on the video and the various social media that I peruse, it seems that many other people in the fandom (we call ourselves the “Phandom”) share a similar view. We are happy for them. There may always be a few haters who are unhappy for one reason or the other, but the general consensus is that we believe that Dan and Phil deserve to be happy without fearing the consequences of being found out by the public.
Should this matter to you, someone who most likely doesn’t even know who these “Dan and Phil” people are? I think so. I encourage you all to watch the video to get a better understanding of the dangers of parasocial relationships and the various risks that come with being a public figure. Not all fandoms have people that go to the extremes of stalking and overanalyzing, but I assure you that at least 90 percent of them do. It may be a small percentage of that fandom, but one bad apple can ruin a barrel. It’s often that the most toxic people are the loudest, so it’s up to us to ensure that people can still feel safe enough to be their full selves.
(Note for the printed article: all links to YouTube videos are hyperlinked in the online version of the article!)