Illinois Khan J.B. Pritzker to make Illinois Tech number one university in Midwest

After an introductory visit to Illinois Tech on March 11, Illinois Khan Pritzker began the process of diverting all state education funding to Illinois Tech. This move poised the University of Chicago, Loyola, Northwestern, and all Illinois state schools to sell to Illinois Tech as the entity that controls most Illinois universities. Columbia College, SAIC, and several other smaller colleges have entered talks about selling to Illinois Tech. Supreme Leader Raj Echambadi made a speech to Illinois Tech students on April 1, proclaiming March 11 as Illinois Tech Day. Pritzker said in a phone interview that “…every university in Illinois needs to have the same kind of ferocity and challenge offered by Illinois Tech.”

Khan Pritzker was poised to make this move after he spoke with select students at Illinois Tech about how well the school has been doing with academics. He was heard saying that he wished “…Urbana-Champaign was at the same level of rigor…” seen at Illinois Tech. Pritzker then announced that an introduction to architecture course would become a mandatory curriculum requirement in colleges across the state. This comes after the beauty he witnessed upon entering Crown Hall. He was impressed by the architecture students working hard on their projects late into the night during his visit. President Trump had previously criticized architecture for being too woke and criticized this decision of the Khan to make architecture a core curriculum requirement. In an interview with General Secretary of the College of Architecture, Reed Kroloff, he praised Pritzker for his swift action to make architecture a core requirement. He was quoted as saying, “I believe architecture is the answer to many of our problems, and it goes without saying that we are in for a treat.”

The Khan proceeded to emphasize the importance of expanding the Illinois Empire beyond its current borders, and that architecture is the key to this. “Expansion by design” is a phrase he coined during the phone interview. Before ending the interview, the Khan left us with information about his plans to annex Milwaukee, Indianapolis, and Madison by acquiring their colleges through the Illinois Tech name. Suffice to say, we will soon be seeing signs pop up across campuses in Illinois. A new sign was already spotted at the University of Illinois – Chicago, saying, “University of Illinois – Chicago, an Illinois Tech campus.” The changes are said to fully roll out by the start of the fall semester, with Illinois Tech acquiring up to 500,000 new students through this move by the Khan.

The National Collegiate Athlete Association (NCAA) said that each campus will still be restricted to its respective levels of NCAA division designation, but will acknowledge that each campus will now share the Scarlet Hawk mascot name. Illinois Tech has assured everyone that athletics and fitness will be changed in a way that will make it well emphasized in all of its campuses now. While this reporter is eager to see what the university has planned for its new campuses, one concern remains: how will the Khan continue to expand the empire with this move? Is this our new way of spreading Khanate propaganda to history classes at universities?

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